Jus not it

Not being exactly at the most comfy situation, sharing a room with lights off and extreme silence, there's barely you can do especially with no wireless connection and the electric source meters away feels like your limps are broken into two. How can I ever make my nights go quickly? Which is why I sneaked out every night after work no matter how tired I am jus hoping time could fly faster.

And right now, it's but only the beginning.. And I'm alr feeling tired out.. Shunning myself away from all the dislikes and hates. It's tough, we probably needed a lot more time than we think we need. I jus don't know how the majority deals with it. I'm weak yeah I know. I jus don't find the need to put myself through the same cycles of liking something that I'd never like or pleasing somebody against my will, I probably am still living in a world jus on own. You don't necessary hav to see it my way nor go my way. Cause I wouldn't. My stomach is in a mess. And I'm on the bloody diarrhoea cycle again. Fml.

Be realistic to the people who are realistic to you. Especially those who are jus making use of you. Money should be the most important thing in the world. Get that in.

When my life gets harder to comprehend

Tonight, I try all over again jus to get myself to go to slp. I am tired. In fact never been this tired. Yet I find myself coaxing myself every night jus to rest for that mere few hours. And a long day begins again tml. It has become a routine so much so that it numbs me. What awaits me? What does life has for me? I look so haggard that everyone compliments my mom of looking like my sis which even sometimes I do feel that way too. Happy birthday mom. I hope this is the life you've been hoping for. I hope you're genuinely happy for all that you've got now. I'm never having kids. Cause I don't even know what's worth fighting for. Much less educating them. I hate the thought of bringing them up without the knowledge nor the financial foundation, you're basically making their life as pathetic as yours.

I can't slp. That's bad. That's really bad.

Sometimes, I'll still wonder if this is what I really want.

Stop freaking telling me how 'nice' she is

Almost got pissed off to the brim. But got so much better after I channelled it all out. Thank god for you, my emotional support. If not I would hav started yelling it on the social network channel to get it across to her! what a moron! gave it away without my permission yet still not a sign of remorse! jus how many freaking times do you hav to do charity on my behalf!?

我好想念我家。。

For all the superficials &materialist

When I needed help, it was always my friends who were the ones lending a helping hand. Jus everyone but the closest. But when the closest needed help, I was always there. There's a difference when you're able to help but you refuse to help to situations whereby you want to help but it's beyond your capability. Today got me thinking again when I seek help, the times when my mom needed it so badly but we were refused help. And how we didn't necessarily hav to help some people but my mom did it for me. Now then I realize, some patience and help will never be appreciated and cherish cause they took so much for granted like we're 'suppose' to help. So much so that it irks me for the fact that I don't necessary hav to go the way you want it to. Get it? The saddest people in life is when they let go of their present, thinking that they were capturing the best of their future but not knowing that they already let go of the best. Time will prove that we will not jus stay put at a certain spot but we will improve and move on to become a better somebody. Never judge nor underestimate anybody. You never know how far they could go. I believe in you<3

Self reflection

We hardly get to meet someone that we feel right about one another. But sometimes we tend to waiver due to the circumstances and the situations that we're in. There's jus too much storms to weather tgt to stay tgt. And the best part is, we can't suffer much setbacks nor disappointments. And in most scenarios, we've suffered enough previously to want to surrender ourselves to hardships again. For myself, it moulded me into somebody else. Somebody with less confidence, self-esteem and patience. And I think that it's so unfair now for that somebody who deserves a much fairer treatment. It jus suck to not be able to go back to be the person whom I used to be.

Work work work!

Working full shift on weekend again! Good morning people!!

Last night

I'm gonna miss my comfy space, my comfy bed

No matter how hard you try, some facts will always remain unchanged. The kind of trust and reliance are smths that I can never seem to find. Nothing could nor possibly change my perspective. The lessons learnt were harsh.

My teeth is aching like mad. I'm gg crazy cause my gastric dropped by as well. I'm moving out in a couple of days. I'm gonna miss this place so bad. Every bit of it. It's been a long thirteen years stay. We started out from nth to all that we've got. And now we're leaving. Leaving behind most of it. We're embarking on a brand new beginning. There's so much more that I wana share but then my mind jus went blank in a split second. That's all for now folks.

When you're super duper hungry but yet you can't eat any solid food. The feeling suck ttm!

Jus dropped wifey at her office. Hello and good morning. Checked out from MBS. Loving the days where i could wake up to the most scenic view from the top. Its jus too memorable. Currently on the eleventh set out of the forty five available set of aligners. The only turn off thing that I had to go through this morning. It's heavy showers at hougang. After enjoying a wonderful full off day, it's back to slog your ass out at work. Sigh.

Enjoying the moment

At MBS with my 老婆! Thanks to everyone who came and made the night so fun!! Life's all about cherishing the moment:) Happy first baby<3

I get cramps with my fingers so often these days. sometimes my toes too. my feet gets numb every single day. I am super shagged but yet I jus can't slp every night. what exactly is wrong with me? i am probably beyond hope. even the slightest emotions behind those facade should go unnotice.

Slept at probably 2.50 and jm wide awake now. Full shift in a while. Fml.

When you&apos;ve been on your own for the longest time

I never knew it could be harder than I thought. I'm currently at the carpark but jus takes so much more to drag myself up. Is it me? That I'm hard to please? But I'm not. I jus feel uneasy. I jus rather slp in the car.

I'm coughing so badly that I can hardly breathe much less slp. And I hav to be up at 630 tml. Thank you so much. It's consecutively 3 full shift days. How nice.

33 days to homeless

It's 11. And I'm only on the bus to the train station. I've got too much time for myself lately that I've decided to work full shift everyday from now on. It's getting bored around here. I probably won't be back till sometime later. I'll see you guys around:)

Sometimes I wish I could jus let it all out. Empty vessels make the most noise. Don't jus keep talking, prove it.

Finally done with my stocktake. The bugger really driving me nuts with her attitude. Tons to do after closing. Shd I stay over tonight? Been working since 730 this morning. Jus had my lunch cum breakfast not long ago. And in another half an hour's time, gonna welcome the dinner crowd with open arms. My life is wonderful.... So not. And I gotta move all my stuff over by the end of next week. Big headache this mth. Very well done. I spent my everyday working and working and working. The saddest thing is I've only got two off days in a mth:( At this rate, I'll hit 30 before reality even sets in.

Saturday morning

On the way to work, good morning everyone:)

I'm telling myself everyday that I'm not tired.

Some things are jus not right

Having trouble uploading all the pictures. Seriously. The connection's damn bad. I'm having difficulty falling asleep again. And I hav no idea why. I should be able to slp with the help of alcohol. I think I over-relied on it somehow. But still, it got better as I relied on pills to slp for the last couple of months. Jus had an awesome blast fun on stepdad's birthday celebration. I wish birthdays could happen every single day. I wish my birthday was everyday. My mom had her fair share of fun too. Tonight's gonna be yet another long night. I can't seem to come out with the correct words to fill in the blanks. My emotions are contradicting. They are so messy I don't know. I wish somebody could tell me the things I want to know.