Fuck you if you ever for one second thinks that customers are the kings.

I realized I probably need to just let it all out before I could rest my mind. Ever since we had this shop going, this occupation that I had, I've been losing slp. I spent so many nights trying to figure out whats going through the minds of all these absurd and ridiculous individuals. We get money thrown at our faces, customers hurling vulgarities at us when we simply jus ask them to queue politely. What have the world became? Singapore? A city full of crappy, arrogant, self-centred idiots. Uncivilized bunch of fools. I don't understand their logic. Simply cause you are the purchaser, does that place us in the position of pathetic beggars? I get people telling me, 'oh, i'm gonna publicize on the net, the newspaper. I'm gonna complain to the relevant governmental institution for your bad service.' Come on... In this modern era, no one fears bad publicity. Not everybody, at least not for us. I'm not from a major enterprise. I don't owe people a living. And I jolly well don't think I need to endure the humiliation that I've been going through 365 days every year just to have everything that I own now. They say to always look at things in your stride, it will be easier to overcome the rough days. But you have no idea how rough the tides get when the storm hits. I'd be dealing with a couple of idiots through a long day of work, plus a couple of burns and scratches. Then the heat, and the never-ending tries to live up to someone's sky high expectations and to be always tipping on my toes watching everybody's moves in the case of operation hiccups. Its a scary cycle. It goes on 24/7. They never knew what its like to be in my shoes. I hated my life. Hated my work. Hated the pressure, the comparisons, the whatever I do is bullshit. Most adored my life. They envy all that I had. Yeah, sometimes. It gets overwhelming. To be able to buy anything, and everything. Its a joy to be able to travel every single month. But it also comes with a hefty price to pay at the end of the day. Yes I am complaining. Never been this frustrated. These idiots that I see everyday, fuck you seriously. If its all that bad, I'm pleading you to never come ever. The best damn thing is despite all the complains, nasty comments, fuck up behavior, they ALWAYS come back at the end of the day, these fuck faces.

I spent a very long time trying to heal myself. Convinced I was on the road to recovery, I set foot to see the world. To see how others were desperately trying to live. How we were all fighting for the same reasons. I needed a reason. A reason to live on. A reason to press on..

Hav you ever felt like you don't belong? No matter what you did, no matter where you go, there's no place that you belong to. Even after trying multiple times, you jus don't fit in. The pieces of puzzle were lost that very day..

Here we go again

Blame it on myself. I'd never blame anyone else. To even for one second thought I was wiser. Doesn't matter anymore. I shouldn't and I shouldn't had taken the first step, now I got myself all messed up inside. Tonight I feel exceptionally depressed. Can't help but feel like I'm balling in all over again. It felt right but I guess I was wrong.

Ain't never gonna let another bring me down

I try as much as i can to keep my distance. I still have yet to mend the broken pieces. I trust too easily, I relied on just anyone I feel comfortable with too quickly. That resulted in shattered hopes, empty beliefs, broken dreams. Tonight its yet another self reminder, to not trust, and to never rely on nobody. ever again.

Cursed ego.

I'm short, plump, pessimist with a wrinkled face, huge nose, big face, short hands &legs.
I'm not feeling inferior.
I'm just me.
I like how my lips are torn, my feets & hands that are scarred and the bruises on my ass.
I'm not perfect, neither am I sociable.
I never like running outta my comfort zone.
They call me a freak. Or ajumma at times.
I like it better.
I have no expectations of life cause it fails me everytime.
& I'm bloody sick of the boring lies.
So where does that leave me?
I don't know. Perhaps you can tell me?
Its just the way that I am now; too broken inside.

This is how we say goodbye. At least for me.

You were my sun. You were my rain. I swore by my undying love. I remember everything you claimed. But now, its all just a shame. Two much. Too much. I'm too damaged. I know how perfectly imbalance my world has became. It's ok with the lonely nights, I'm alright fighting on my own. Rumors spreading. Everybody's laughing. Its ok. There's no victory, there's no defeat. Just a game of deceit. Cause all I ever wanted was to just walk away. Walk away..

LEZZ BURN THE ROOF DOWN

I'm thinking of all the possibilities. I picture the future so frequent these days I got lost in these illusions.
They tell me I'm thinking bad. All the worst scenarios, I had them up in my mind.
I shouldn't lose hope. I shouldn't lose faith. I'm not crazy. I'm just a little sick in the head:)

To top it off, lezz play the fav off my playlist.

Music cures me. It stops my world from crushing. Though I'm not even sure what my beliefs are now.
Nothing could get me back on the tracks yet there's nothing that could get me down either! But I know I'm happy like that! The best has yet to come!

LEZZ WELCOME JULY, DOLLS! BALI, HERE WE GOOOO!