Jus to share, some things I'll nvr hav to go through them again

Trust?




Doesn't it hurt soo bad, finding out the one you've ever relied on to be there for you during your darkest days could actually hold another in his arms, kiss another with the lips you've kissed a thousand times before. Just feels like someone just suckerpunched you and the whole fucking ground just gives way. You kneel over and the dam just bursts, you're sobbing so uncontrollably. You cry like you've never cried before. Like you dont know whats happiness.. You ask yourself, what did you do to deserve this? How could he? It was supposed to be forever. Just you and him.. He cries and says it was nothing, you're the only one in his heart. Fuck that, fuck that shit. Those lips, i'll always imagine you kissing her.. I can't sleep at night, everytime I close my eyes I'm haunted by thoughts and images. He says he'll be there for me, understand the demons I have to fight everynight. He says he'll fight it with me.. how can he, when he's the one who set them upon me? Its not like I'm not trying. Oh how much I fight, for the sake of 2 beautiful years we spent together. I am this paranoid, bruised creature of what I used to be. This, this creature calls him a thousand times a day, wants to check every message, every text. This can't be me.. and he will never change. What trust? The very foundation our relationship was based one, has shattered. This will never be the same again.



I stayed true, he strayed.



Few months later, dust has settled but he haunts me in my dreams from time to time. Should've just packed up and left, shouldn't have stayed. Promised myself,I will never subject myself to such pain again.



This vile thing called love, it holds you a prisoner. Never again.


-Quoted from osf