刻骨铭心

有些伤口永远没办法癒合

Sick. Tired. Headache.

Day two of smoke-free & 4th day of jogging regiment!

Having this really bad gastric and a bad flu. Half of my nose is block. Am on full shift tml. Cut my hand for the second consecutive day. Argh! I need to stay healthy! Jogged three rounds today. Almost died. Got nagged and I need to skip it tml. Sigh.

Sneezing nonstop, my nose is running nonstop. I am fucking hungry. Yet there's nth I can do about it. I jus wish at this time at least somebody could giv a fuck about it. Or at least buy me smth call food. Instead of trash like cup noodle from 7-elevens. Do not get that pls. You're gonna regret your guts out. Why do I keep seeing your limitations? Sometimes I feel I'm jus hard to pls but at other times it's jus disappointment after disappointment.

Out of breath, gave up jus after two rounds. My nose is running, I'm having a stitch on the left side of my waist. And it's only the third day. Omg. When will it ever hit eight full weeks.

God, I hate myself.

I am gg to die. Probably just finish a 20 mins jog and 40 sit ups and I'm like a dead bird. Omg. I'm getting horrendous. That's equivalent to nth done at all during my sch days. I totally deserve to get fat. Blame me for my procrastination. And now I'm regretting cause I hav to work double hard just to get rid of the tummy.

Been trying my best to jus be good enough. Enough spinning. Quit supper. I need a listener so bad now.

The only off day for this month flew by jus like that. My legs are tired though. Stiff to the max. I'm looking forward to realizing my jogging regiments!! Pls do not rain tml!!!

On second thought, I should probably lock up the post. I most probably wanted to be you as much as you wanted to be me. So save the envy.

I'd still question myself over and over again.

So sick of you pretending
So sick of the tension
So sick of the politics
Why do humans hav to be so complicated everywhere?

幸福就好，开心就好

Life is never ending of acceptance of risks. We fall but we are willing to try again and again. At the end of it, we hope to find smth worth risking for.

A lifetime of happiness

Accept me at my worse and my best or leave me at my worse and not get any of my best. Fyi, I'm willing to weather any kinds of hardships, as long as you vow your faith and your heart for they're priceless and that they could be so much more precious than jus pennies and golds.

Homeless, helpless.

When you're force to hang out till late, its jus pathetic. I really enjoy home alone by the way. And yet there are jus times when you're helpless to certain situations. There's just absolute no sense of belonging wherever I'm at.

Jus not it

Not being exactly at the most comfy situation, sharing a room with lights off and extreme silence, there's barely you can do especially with no wireless connection and the electric source meters away feels like your limps are broken into two. How can I ever make my nights go quickly? Which is why I sneaked out every night after work no matter how tired I am jus hoping time could fly faster.

And right now, it's but only the beginning.. And I'm alr feeling tired out.. Shunning myself away from all the dislikes and hates. It's tough, we probably needed a lot more time than we think we need. I jus don't know how the majority deals with it. I'm weak yeah I know. I jus don't find the need to put myself through the same cycles of liking something that I'd never like or pleasing somebody against my will, I probably am still living in a world jus on own. You don't necessary hav to see it my way nor go my way. Cause I wouldn't. My stomach is in a mess. And I'm on the bloody diarrhoea cycle again. Fml.

Be realistic to the people who are realistic to you. Especially those who are jus making use of you. Money should be the most important thing in the world. Get that in.

When my life gets harder to comprehend

Tonight, I try all over again jus to get myself to go to slp. I am tired. In fact never been this tired. Yet I find myself coaxing myself every night jus to rest for that mere few hours. And a long day begins again tml. It has become a routine so much so that it numbs me. What awaits me? What does life has for me? I look so haggard that everyone compliments my mom of looking like my sis which even sometimes I do feel that way too. Happy birthday mom. I hope this is the life you've been hoping for. I hope you're genuinely happy for all that you've got now. I'm never having kids. Cause I don't even know what's worth fighting for. Much less educating them. I hate the thought of bringing them up without the knowledge nor the financial foundation, you're basically making their life as pathetic as yours.

I can't slp. That's bad. That's really bad.